Thursday, November 10, 2011

How To Get Rid of a Hangover

Ahh, the hangover -- dreaded reminder of a night devoted to forgetting. Though so-called "remedies" appear abundant at first glance, they always seem to do little in stopping its evil onset.

Well, I'm sorry to say that I won't be bringing you some ancient middle earth cure for the mistakes you made through others' encouragement last night, nor am I going to try and sell you some wonder pill that's supposed to soak up all those "Bad Booze Toxins" swimming around in your bloodstream. Instead, I will be sharing with you what has seemed to work for me -- so pay attention.......

Drink Plenty of Water
Nothing helps me feel better after a night of idiotic debauchery quite like a large glass of water. In my younger years, after an evening of unregulated excess -- I would stumble from my bed (or wherever I may have landed), pour myself a huge glass of water and then proceed to down the entire thing as if I had just made my way across the Sahara. The immediate sensation of how much firmer the floor felt beneath my feet afterwards rarely felt nothing short of miraculous.

You see (if you don't mind me getting a little nerdy) the alcohol found in your favorite booze not only inhibits your motor skills and decision making -- it also acts as a liquid diuretic. In other words, it makes you pee......ALOT! After "breaking the seal" (so to speak) you'll be pissing every 30 minutes from then on out, thus making sure your body is nice and dehydrated (as well as intoxicated) by the end of the night. And it gets even better! Did you know that caffeine is also a liquid diuretic, too? This means that if you've decided your best path to cognitive destruction is pounding "Jager Bombs" all night, by dusk you'll be about as hydrated as a California Raisin.

In order to combat this dehydration, I found that drinking a glass or two of water before going to bed really helps. This obviously doesn't apply to those who are unable to hold the liquids they already have (i.e. those hugging Johnny), but rather the ones still able to keep everything down in its place. [Those hugging Johnny should at least try to get some fluids in their bodies and seek medical help if needed....just getting that out there.]

Check Your Meds Before You Make A BIG Mistake
I can see it now -- what many of you likely do immediately proceeding a night of hard partying...

Carefully rolling out of bed, you slowly stumble your way towards the bathroom sink. After staring regretfully at your disheveled veneer through the bathroom mirror, probably ask questions, like, "What the hell happend last night?" You reach up at the glass holding your reflection, swing open the medicine cabinet door and fish out a Tylenol from one of those stupid childproof bottles. DON'T DO THAT!

As you can imagine, certain types of pharmaceutical drugs don't particularly play nice with ethanol, which can cause some serious health problems if you're not careful -- drugs like Acetaminophen (Tylenol), Aspirin and Naproxen Sodium, just to name a few. Painkillers are also considered a big No-No when drinking because they may intensify the effects of the alcohol you consume dramatically. I once mistakenly took a Benadryl after drinking literally ONE Smirnoff Ice, and for the next hour and a half I thought I was going to die. My 6'2" 210 pound frame was reduced to nothing more than a groggy, achy, incoherent blob -- which, honestly, is kind of what I deserved for drinking a Smirnoff Ice to begin with....what a wuss! [At least I've "manned-up" since.]

Anyways, always make sure to check the labels of your meds to see if they are safe to take with alcohol. Even though you might only see it as just a fast way to get rid of a headache, you could be doing some serious damage to your body by combining the two! So BE CAREFUL!

Don't Drink So Much In The First Place
Look, I hate preaching almost as much as I hate being preached to, but this really has to be said. Know Your Limits! If you feel the need to get hammered till you hurl every other night, then maybe something else is at play besides "just wanting to have a good time." If you are starting to feel like alcohol is taking over your life, maybe it's time to consider reaching out for some support.

Support Groups: Al-Anon Family

Get Some Freaking Rest
One of the dumbest things I have ever heard someone say is, "I'm going to drink a beer this morning so I don't get a hangover." WHAT!? Are you kidding me? I think that theory was put to the test LAST night when you drank twenty of them and passed out in a puddle of your own urine. Take a break for God's Sake!

The biggest factor in getting over a hangover is still, as unfortunate as it may sound, TIME. We human beings always feel like we can create a way around something, yet usually cause more problems than we solve. Your body needs time to recover from the torment you have unleashed upon it, and will only do so when given the adequate opportunity.